sábado, julho 30, 2005

"Goldmundo's Code" ou "O Código de Goldmundo"

Está no comentário do post Atlântida, os nefilins, os merovíngios, a Europa, Jesus e o "sangreal", Leviathan e outras conspirações , mas eu decidi pô-lo aqui porque não guardo os comentários e a resposta está deveras genial.

O "nosso" (salvo seja) Goldmundo, saiu-se com esta:

Tenho a maior desconfiança dos argumentos baseados em semelhanças fonéticas.

Por exemplo:

A tradição atlante hoje em dia é essencialmente representada pelos Sisters of Mercy, na realidade os Six-stars of mer-sea, as seis estrelas do mar. A dupla invocação do mar em francês/inglês remete simultaneamente para as linhas merovíngias e arturianas, e relaciona-se com a misteriosa presença templária em Tomar, ou Two-Mar (dois mares, ou duplo-mar); A Six-Star é, na realidade, a estrela de seis pontas (signo de salomão, que vem de salmão, o prato preferido dos reis atlantes). Muito recentemente, uma terrível e oculta rebelião das forças negras levou à cisão nos S.M. (iniciais de Sacra Majestas, signo inequívoco) e à criação dos Mission (aliás Mis + Sion, ou ou Mistery of Sion, como foi veladamente referido nas recentes obras de Dan Brown), forças essas que revelaram a sua verdadeira identidade com a posterior e blasfema designação Mission UK - que significa Uber Kristos, ou Super-Cristo). Tudo isto é, evidentemente, a repetição do velho mito da revolta contra os Mais Velhos, ou os Elder, simbolizados por Eldrich (Eld + Rich, ou Elder + Reich = "Império dos Mais Velhos"), cujo rasto se traça na Bíblia embora o Vaticano o tenha conseguido ocultar de todos menos de mim.

A chave do segredo está, para quem seja digno dela, no poema, de inspiração babilónica, "So, the Ark over the Europe", uma referência inequívoca à Arca da Aliança. Alguns góticos (claramente, os "divinos", raiz "god", ou os "bons", raíz "good")sabem disso, e ouvem esse poema no disorder (= Dies Order, a Ordem Divina)

É de génio. Admitam. É de génio.

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Fun time

Tens uma banda gótica? Falta-te inspiração para escrever letras? Não te preocupes mais! Agora há o Random Goth Lyric Generator!!!
Com o Random Goth Lyric Generator acabaram-se as "brancas creativas"! O Random Goth Lyric Generator também oferece duas recargas e, se fores dos primeiros a responder, habilitas-te a ganhar um magnífico automóvel!!!

Esta foi a piada 1.
Agora a piada 2.

Two vultures are sitting on a wire, contemplating the progress of the day. As the time passes, they sigh, become rather bored, then begin to become hungry. The two vultures look, then sigh, then look around some more as their hunger increases. Finally, one vulture says to the other, “Screw it. I’m going to go kill something.”

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quinta-feira, julho 28, 2005

Atlântida, os nefilins, os merovíngios, a Europa, Jesus e o "sangreal", Leviathan e outras conspirações

Começo por pedir desculpa por este post estupidamente longo mas acontece que em toda a minha vida, nunca tinha lido esta(s) teoria(s) tão bem expostas. Confesso, muitas das coisas que a seguir se expõem nunca me tinham passado pela frente. Culpo a Inquisição, o catolicismo e o salazarismo. Tudo o que vão ler é heresia.
E como me interessou a mim, talvez interesse a mais alguém.

The Merovingian Mythos:
Its Symbolic Significance and its Roots in the Ancient Kingdom of Atlantis
by Tracy R. Twyman

The Frankish King Dagobert II, and the Merovingian dynasty from which he came, have been romantically mythologized in the annals of both local legend and modern mystical pseudo-history, but few have understood the true meaning and origins of their alluring mystery. The mystique that surrounds them includes attributions of saintliness, magical powers (derived from their long red hair), and even divine origin, stemming from their supposed descent from the one and only Jesus Christ. However, the importance of the divine origin of the Merovingians, and the antiquity from whence it comes, has never to this author's knowledge been fully explored by any writer or historian. As Boyd Rice and I will explain in more detail in our forthcoming book, we have uncovered mountains of evidence which indicates that the origins of the Merovingian race, and the mystery that surrounds them, lies ultimately with a race of beings, "Nephilim," or "Fallen Angels," who created mankind as we know him today, and with a civilization, far more ancient than recorded history, from which came all of the major arts and sciences that are basic to civilizations everywhere, even unto today. As we intend to show, all of the myths and symbolism that are associated with this dynasty can, in fact, be traced back to this earlier civilization. It is known, in some cultures, as Atlantis, although there are many names for it, and it is the birthplace of agriculture, astronomy, mathematics, metallurgy, navigation, architecture, language, writing, and religion. It was also the source of the first government on Earth - monarchy. And the first kings on Earth were the gods.
Their race was known by various names. In Greece, the Annodoti. In Sumeria, the Annunaki. In the Celtic lore, the Tuatha de Danaan. In the Semetic scriptures (Torah, Talmud, Old Testament, and other Apocryphal texts like the Book of Enoch), they are called The Nephilim, "The Sons of God," or the Watchers. They are described as having attachments such as wings, horns, and even fish scales, but from the depictions it is clear that these are clothes or costumes worn for their symbolic value, for these symbols indicated divine power and royal blood. The gods themselves had their own monarchy, with laws of succession similar to our own, and they built a global empire upon the Earth, with great cities, temples and monuments, and mighty nations established on several continents. They created mankind as a slave race to work on their farms and in their gold mines, among other things. The Sumerian legends are very clear: man was made to "bear the yoke of the gods." Man was separate from the gods, like a domesticated animal, and there was a great cultural taboo amongst the gods against sharing any of their sacred information with humanity, even things such as writing and mathematics. These gods ruled directly over Egypt, Mesopotamia, and the Indus Valley, and their rule is recorded in the histories of all three civilizations.

This global monarchy was the crowning glory of the Ages, and the period of their rule came to be called the Golden Age or, as the Egyptians called it, "The First Time," when the gods watched over man directly, like a shepherd his flock. In fact, they were often called "The Shepherd Kings." One of the symbols of this world monarchy was an eye hovering over a throne, and this eye now adorns our dollar bill, presented as the missing capstone of the Great Pyramid of Giza, underneath which are written the words "New World Order." Clearly this "New World Order" is the global monarchy that our Founding Fathers (not a Democrat among them) intended for this nation to participate in all along, symbolized by a pyramid as a representation of the ideal and perfectly ordered authoritarian empire. During the Golden Age of the Gods, a new king's ascendance to the global throne would be celebrated by the sacrifice of a horse, an animal sacred to Poseidon, one of the Atlantean god-kings and Lord of the Seas. (Recall that Merovingian King Clovis was buried with a severed horse's head.) In fact there is an amusing story about how King Sargon's rebellious son Sagara tried to prevent his father's assumption of the world throne from being solidified by stealing his sacrificial horse. The horse was not recovered until years later, and Sagara, along with the "sons of Sagara," i.e., those members of his family who had assisted him, were forced to dig their own mass grave. This grave was oddly called "The Ocean."

It was just a rebellion such as this that lead to the downfall of the entire glorious Empire. At some point, it is told, some of the gods broke rank. This is again recorded in just about every culture on Earth that has a written or oral history of legends. Some of the gods, finding human females most appealing, intermarried with them (breaking, of course, a major taboo within their own culture), and creating a race of human/god hybrids. Some of these offspring are described as taking the form of giants, dragons, and sea monsters, while others are said to have born a normal human countenance, with the exception of their shimmering white skin and their extremely long life spans. This is the bloodline that brought us Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, King David, Jesus Christ, and many others, in other words the Grail Bloodline. Legend has it that these beings taught mankind their secrets, including the above-mentioned arts of civilization, as well as a secret spiritual doctrine that only certain elect humans (their blood descendants) would be allowed to possess. They created ritualistic mystery schools and secret societies to pass this doctrine down through the generations.

However, these actions (the interbreeding and sharing of secrets with humans) incurred the wrath of the Most High God, and a number of other gods who were disgusted by this interracial breeding. This sparked the massive and devastating battle of the gods that has come down to us in the legends of both the "War in Heaven," and the "Deluge." Then, in order to cleanse the Earth"s surface of the curse of humanity, they covered it with a flood. Interestingly, this flood is mentioned in the legends of almost every ancient culture on Earth, and the cause is always the same. Often the waters are described as having come from inside the Earth. "The Fountains of the deep are opened," it is said. "Suddenly enormous volumes of water issued from the Earth." Water was "projected from the mountain like a water spout." The Earth began to rumble, and Atlantis, fair nation of the gods, sunk beneath the salty green waves. As we shall see, this is analogous to part during the "War in Heaven" when the "rebellious" angels or gods were punished by being cast down "into the bowels of the Earth," a very significant location.

To be certain, some of the Atlanteans managed to survive, and many books have been written about the Atlantean origin of the Egyptian, Sumerian, Indo-Aryan, and native South American civilizations (bringing into question the validity of the term "Native American"). Little, however, has been written about those who escaped into Western Europe, except for a passing reference in Ignatius Donnelly's Atlantis: The Antediluvian World, in which he writes:

"The Gauls (meaning the French) possessed traditions upon the subject of Atlantis which were collected by the Roman historian Timagenes who lived in the first century before Christ. He represents that three distinct people dwelt in Gaul: 1. The indigenous population, which I suppose to be Mongoloids, who had long dwelt in Europe; 2. The invaders from a distant land, which I understand to be Atlantis; 3. The Aryan Gaul."

That the Merovingian bloodline came from elsewhere is clear because of the legend that surrounds their founder, King Merovee, who is said to have been the spawn of a "Quinotaur," a giant fish or a sea monster, who raped his mother when she went out to swim in the ocean. Now it becomes clear why he is called "Merovee," because in French, mer means sea. And in some traditions, Atlantis was called Meru, or Maru. (It is also the name of the famous "World Mountain" of Eastern tradition.) For these gods, navigation above all was important to them, for it was their sea power that maintained their military might and their successful mercantile trade. (Mer is also the origin of the word "mercantile.") The Atlanteans were associated with the sea and were often depicted as mermen, or sea monsters, with scales, fins, and horns. And they were variously associated with a number of important animals, whose symbolism they held sacred: horses, bulls, goats, rams, lions, fish, serpents, dragons, even cats and dogs. And as we will see, all of these things relate back to the sea imagery with which these gods were associated.

Now lets go back to the Quinotaur, which some have named as being synonymous with Poseidon, the Greek god of the sea and, according to Plato, one of the famous kings of Atlantis. Others have seen it as being emblematic of the fish symbol that Christ is associated with, thus indicating that he was in fact the origin of the bloodline. However, the roots of this Quinotaur myth are far more ancient. The word itself can be broken down etymologically to reveal its meaning. The last syllable, "Taur", means "Bull." The first syllable "Quin," or "Kin," comes from the same root as "King," as well as the Biblical name of Cain, whom many have named as the father of a particular branch of the Grail family. The Bull King who swims in the ocean is a recurring theme in many ancient cultures, most notably, ancient Mesopotamia. In fact, he comes from that dynasty of kings who reigned over the antediluvian world and who were all associated with the sea, as well as this divine animal imagery. These kings included Sargon, Menes, and Narmar. Their historical reality morphed into the legends we have in many cultures of gods said to have come out of the sea at various times and taught mankind the basic arts of civilization: agriculture, metallurgy, architecture, navigation, mathematics, medicine, etc. They were known by various names: Ea, Enki, Dagon, Oannes, or Marduk (Merodach). They were depicted as half-man, half-fish, half-goat half-fish, or half-bull, half-fish, but as we have said, in many of these depictions it is clear that this affect was merely achieved by the wearing of costumes, and that these god-kings were using this archetypal imagery to deify themselves in the minds of their subjects.

Dagon, Oannes and Enki are essentially synonymous, and interestingly, Marduk or Merodach is his son, just as Merovee is the son of the Quinotaur. Dagon was depicted with a fish on his head, the lips protruding upward, making what were referred to as "horns." This may be the origin for the custom (common in the ancient world) of affixing horns to the crown of a king. It has also been historically acknowledged as the origin of the miter that the Pope wears. (Now we understand why, in the post-mortem photo of Berenger Sauniere lying on his death bed, this small parish priest is seen next to a Bishop's miter.) The Christian Church has always been associated with fish. Christ himself was, as was John the Baptist, and the early Christians used the fish sign of the "icthys" to designate themselves. From Dagon's name Oannes we get the words "Uranus," "Ouranous," "Jonah," "Janus," and "John." Perhaps we finally now understand why the Grand Masters of the Priory of Sion assume the symbolic name of John.

The syllable "Dag" merely means fish, which makes it interesting to note that the Dogon tribe of Africa, who have long baffled astronomers with their advanced knowledge of the specifics of the faraway star-system from which, they say, their gods came, claim that these gods were "Fish-Men." This author wonders if the words "Dag" and "Dog" aren't etymologically related, especially since the star from whence these fish-men supposedly came is named Sirius, "The Dog Star." From Dagon comes our word "Dragon," as well as the Biblical figure of Leviathan, "The Lord of the Deep," a title also applied to Dagon. In fact, many of these gods received the titles "The Lord of the Waters," "The Lord of the Deep," and "The Lord of the Abyss," which appear to have been passed down from father to son along with the throne of the global kingdom. They are specifically associated with the Flood of Noah, which as I have mentioned, destroyed their global kingdom and was somehow linked to their disastrous breeding experiment with the human race that lead to the Grail Bloodline, to which the Merovingians belong. For this they were consigned to the Abyss or the Underworld, which is why these gods were known as the Lords of both.

Enki was also known as the "Lord of the Earth," and it is because of this "amphibious" nature of their progenitor, reigning over both land and sea, that the Merovingians are associated with frogs. But this "Lord of the Earth" title is significant, for this is a title also given to Satan. And it has been historically acknowledged that Enki, as the "Fish-Goat Man," is prototype for the Zodiac sign of Capricorn, which is itself recognized as the prototype for the modern conception of Satan or Lucifer.

Furthermore, a well-known and pivotal episode in Enki's career was his rebellion against his brother Enlil over the succession of the global throne. Enki eventually slayed Enlil, something that is recorded in the Egyptian myth of Set murdering Osiris, and perhaps in the Biblical story of Cain murdering Abel. Cain eventually became King - in fact that's where the word comes from, and now it makes perfect sense why Enki would be called the "Quinotaur." The identity of Enki and Enlil with Cain and Abel can be further proven by the fact that Enki and Enlil were the son of Anu (in some Sumerian legends, the first god-king on Earth), whereas Cain and Abel were the sons of "Adamu - the First Man." Adamu and Anu appear to be etymologically related.

This family feud erupted into a long and overdrawn battle between the gods, who were split into two factions over the issue. These appear to be the same two factions who were at odds over the mating of gods and men to create the Grail Bloodline. Those who supported Enki, Satan or Cain were clearly the ones who were inclined to breed with mankind, perhaps in attempt to create a hybrid race that could assist them in retaining the throne for Cain. But they were overpowered. After they lost the "War in Heaven," they were cast into the Abyss, according to legend, now the realm of Satan, and the Earth was flooded so as to rid the Earth of their offspring.

Yet according to the legends, those gods who had created the hybrid race attempted to contact one of their most favored descendants - called Uta-Napishtim in the Sumerian legends, or Noah in the Jewish - and helped him to rescue himself and his family, preserving the seed of hybrid humanity. (Uta-Napishtim contains the Sumerian and Egyptian word for fish, "Pish," and perhaps we can see why some authors have claimed that the character of Noah is in fact based on Oannes/Dagon/Enki as well.) We see remnants of this in the Vedic legends of the Flood, in which the surviving family is warned about the Flood by a horned fish called the Manu (who turns out to be the Hindu god Vishnu in disguise). He tells them to build an Ark, and then tie its mast to his horn, then proceeds to tow them to safety upon a high mountain. So clearly Vishnu is the same as Enki, Dagon, and Oannes, and clearly he is the one who saved Noah from the Flood. Yet this same kind deed became attributed, in the Old Testament, to the same God, Jehovah, who had caused the Flood to begin with. In fact the word Jehovah, or "Jah" is said to have evolved from the name of another Sumerian sea god-king, Ea, "The Lord of the Flood." Likewise, Leviathan, or Dagon is responsible in some references for "vomiting out the waters of the Flood." This occurs at the Apocalypse in the Book of Revelations as well. Leviathan, like many of these sea gods, was the Lord of the Abyss, or "Absu" in Sumerian, and these waters were believed to he holding the Earth up from underneath, in the regions of Hell. And yet "Leviathan" is almost surely etymologically related to the Jewish name "Levi," and therefore the "Tribe of Levi," the priestly caste of the Jews from whence part of Christ's lineage came.

This dual current, being associated with both the Heavenly and the Infernal, with both Jesus and Jehovah, Satan and Lucifer, is something that has marked the history of the Merovingian dynasty, as well as all of the other Grail families, and the entire Grail story itself. It is at the heart of the secret spiritual doctrine symbolized by the Grail. This symbolism hits you immediately when you walk in the door of the church at Rennes-le Chateau and see those opposing statues of the demon Asmodeus and Jesus Christ staring at the same black and white chequered floor, which itself symbolizes the balance of good and evil. This principle is further elucidated by the words placed over the doorway, "This place is terrible, but it is the House of God and the Gateway to Heaven." This phrase turns up in two significant places. One is in the Bible, when Jacob has his vision of the ladder leading to Heaven, with angels ascending and descending. The other is in the Book of Enoch, when Enoch is taken for a tour of Hell. The existence of this phrase at the entrance to the church, coupled with the images that meet you immediately therein, render the meaning obvious. For Berenger Sauniere, who arranged these strange decorations, this Church represented some kind of metaphysical gateway between Heaven and Hell.

For this reason, the double-barred Cross of Lorraine, symbolizing this duality, has come to be associated with the Merovingians. In a now famous poem by Charles Peguy, is it stated:

"The arms of Jesus are the Cross of Lorraine,
Both the blood in the artery and the blood in the vein,
Both the source of grace and the clear fountaine;
The arms of Satan are the Cross of Lorraine,
And the same artery and the same vein,
And the same blood and the troubled fountaine."
The reference to Satan and Jesus sharing the same blood is very important. A tradition exists, one which finds support among the Book of Enoch and many others, that Jesus and Satan are brothers, both sons of the Most High God, and they both sat next to his throne in Heaven, on the right and left sides, respectively, prior to Satan's rebellion and the War in Heaven. This may be just another version of the persistent and primordial "Cain and Abel" story. It makes sense that Satan should both be a direct son of God, since he is described as God's "Most Beloved Angel" and "The Brightest Star in Heaven." (Note: The Book of Enoch refers to the Watchers, or Nephilim, as "stars," with various "watchtowers" in the houses of the Zodiac. Bear in mind that the ancients saw the sky above as a giant "Sea," the waters of which were kept at bay by the "Firmament of Heaven" - that is, until the Flood.)

However, this symbol is far older than the modern conceptions of Christ and Satan, or Lucifer. As Boyd Rice will explain to you in another article, this symbol can be traced back to the hieroglyphs of ancient Sumer, where it was pronounced "Khat," "Kad," and sometimes even "Cod." This was another title for the kings who were known as god of the sea, and the word "Khatti" became associated with his entire race, and the region that was their capitol, "Amarru," "The Land to the West" (like Meru, the alternate term for Atlantis). This land was symbolized by a Lion, which may explain the origin of the word "Cat," as well as why the lion is now a symbol of royalty. We would argue that this was at the root of the word "Cathari" (the heretics associated with the Holy Grail who occupied the Languedoc region of France that the Merovingians ruled over), and Adam Kadmon, the Primordial Man of alchemy, as well as the Mesopotamian kingdom of "Akkadia," which itself has morphed into "Arcadia," which further morphs into Acacia, the traditional Sprig of Hope and symbol of Resurrection after death. Perhaps this sheds further light on the phrase "Et in Arcadia Ego," which pops up more than once in association with the mystery of Rennes-le-Chateau and the Merovingians. This phrase was illustrated by Nicholas Poussin with the scene of a tomb, a human skull, and three shepherds. The tomb and skull clearly represent death, while the Sprig of Acacia implied by the word "Arcadia" translates to "resurrection from death." The Shepherds, furthermore, represent the divine kingship of the Atlantean gods and the Grail bloodline, for these god-monarchs were also known as the "Shepherd Kings" (a title, notably, taken up by Jesus as well.) This indicates that it is the Global Monarchy of these Atlantean gods that shall rise again from the tomb, perhaps through the Merovingian bloodline.

This archetype of the Fallen King who shall one day return, or the Kingdom that disappears, only to rise again in a new, Golden Age, is a very common one, and one as I have shown in another article to be integral to the Grail legend. It was also one used quite effectively by the last of the Merovingian kings who effectively held the throne of the Austrasian Empire - this magazine's mascot, Dagobert II. Dagobert's entire life, as historically recorded, is mythological and archetypal. His name betrays the divine origins of his bloodline. "Dagobert" comes, of course, from Dagon. Now the word "Bert," as the author L.A. Waddell has shown, has its roots in the word "Bara," or "Para," or Anglicized, "Pharoah," a "Priest-King of the Temple (or House.)" So Dagobert's name literally means "Priest-King of the House of Dagon." Interestingly, a rarely-found but nonetheless authentic variation on Dagobert's name was "Dragobert," emphasizing his lineage from the Beast of the Deep Waters, the Dragon Leviathan.

Dagobert made use of the myth of the Returning King early on in life. His father had been assassinated when he was 5 years old, and young Dagobert was kidnapped by then Palace Mayor Grimoald, who tried to put his own son on the throne. He was saved from death, but an elaborate ruse was laid out to make people think otherwise. Even his own mother believed he was dead, and allowed his father's assassins to take over, placing Grimoald's son on the throne. Dagobert was exiled to Ireland, where he lay in wait for the opportunity to reclaim his father's throne. This opportunity showed itself in the year 671, when he married Giselle de Razes, daughter of the count of Razes and niece of the king of the Visigoths, allying the Merovingian house with the Visigothic royal house. This had the potential for creating a united empire that would have covered most of what is now modern France. This marriage was celebrated at the Church of St. Madeleine in Rhedae, the same spot where Sauniere's Church of St. Madeleine at Rennes-le-Chateau now rests. There is an existing rumor that Dagobert found something there, a clue which lead him to a treasure buried in the nearby Montsegur, and this treasure financed what was about to come. What came was the reconquest of the Aquitaine and the throne of the Frankish kingdom. As Baigent, et. al write in Holy Blood, Holy Grail, "At once he set about asserting and consolidating his authority, taming the anarchy that prevailed throughout Austrasia and reestablishing order." The Fallen King had risen from his ashes, born anew as Dagobert II, and had come to once more establish firm rule and equilibrium in his country. The similarities to the Parzival/Grail story don't even need to be repeated.

Sadly, Dagobert II would himself play the role of the fallen king just a few years later, in 679, and the circumstances are decidedly strange. You see, since the time of the Merovingian King Clovis I, the Merovingian Kings had been under a pact with the Vatican, in which they had pledged their allegiance to the Mother Church in exchange for Papal backing of the their united Empire of Austrasia. They would forever hold the title of "New Constantine," a title that would later morph into "Holy Roman Emperor." But that "allegiance" on the part of the Merovingians towards the Church began to wear thin after a while. Obviously, given their infernal and divine origin, their spiritual bent was slightly different from that of organized Christianity. In addition, as direct descendants of the historical Christ himself, they would have possessed access to the secret teachings of Christ, no doubt shockingly different from the one promoted by the Church, and reflecting more the "secret doctrine" of the rebellious gods that we've talked about in this article. Any public knowledge of this or the blood relationship between Christ and the Merovingians would have been disastrous for the Church. Christ would therefore be a man, with antecedents and descendants, instead of the "Son of God - Born of Virgin" concept promoted by the church. Seeing in Dagobert a potential threat, the Roman church entered into a conspiracy with Palace Mayor Pepin the Fat.

On December 23, while on a hunting trip, Dagobert was lanced through the left eye by his own godson, supposedly on Pepin's orders. There are many aspects to this event that appear to be mythologically significant. For one, it took place in the "Forest of Woevres," long held sacred, and host to annual sacrificial bear hunts for the goddess Diana. Indeed, this may have taken place on such a hunt. This was near the royal Merovingian residence at Stenay, a town that used to be called "Satanicum." Then there is the date itself, almost precisely when the astrological period of Capricorn begins. Capricorn, as we have mentioned, is based on Enki, the horned sea-god that spawned the Merovingian bloodline. It is also close to the Winter Solstice, the shortest day in the year, when the Sun was said to "die," mythologically, and turn black, descending into the Underworld. This "Black" period of the Sun is associated with the god Kronos, another horned sea-god, ruler of the underworld, and king of Atlantis who figures repeatedly in this Grail/Rennes-le-Chateau mystery. Secondly, the murder is said to take place at midday, which, as I have mentioned in another article, is an extremely significant moment in time for mystery schools of the Secret Doctrine, like Freemasonry. The parchments found by Berenger Sauniere and the related poem, "Le Serpent Rouge," make a special mention of it. This is when the sun is highest in the sky. Hiram Abiff was murdered at midday, while resting from his work, just as Dagobert was murdered at midday while resting against a tree. The fact that it was done by a family member is significant too. This is similar to the "Dolorous Stroke" that wounds the Fisher King in the Grail story, something which also took place at midday and was inflicted by the King's own brother. In the Grail story, the brother who wounds the Fisher King is himself known as the "Dark Lord," and during the fight he is wounded in the left eye, precisely as Dagobert was wounded. The same thing happened to Horus in Egyptian mythology, fighting his uncle, Set. The "Left Eye of Horus" came to symbolize the hidden knowledge of the gods, just as the "left hand path" does today. Dagobert's death appears to follow the same patterns as many of other "Fallen Kings" or murdered gods whose death must be avenged. And it is meant to symbolize the concept of the "Lost or Fallen Kingdom" the same way the Dolorous Stroke does in the Grail story.

Clearly it meant the end for the Merovingian kingdom. All subsequent Merovingian kings were essentially powerless, and they were officially thought to have died out with Dagobert's grandson, Childeric III. 49 years later, Charles Martel's grandson, Charlemagne was anointed Holy Roman Emperor. But in 872, almost 200 years after his death, Dagobert was canonized as a Saint, and the date of his death, December 23, became "St. Dagobert's Day." Write Baigent, et. al.:

"The reason for Dagobert's canonization remains unclear. According to one source it was because his relics were believed to have preserved the vicinity of Stenay against Viking raids - thought this explanation begs the question, for it is not clear why the relics should have possessed such powers is the first place. Ecclesiastical authorities seem embarrassingly ignorant on the matter. They admit that Dagobert, for some reason, become the object of a fully fledged cult... But they seem utterly at a loss as to why he should have been so exalted. It is possible, of course that the Church felt guilty about its role in the king's death."

Guilty, or afraid? For surely they knew that this "Priest-King of the House of Dagon," with his divine lineage, so beloved by his people that they worship him like a god 200 years later, would of course be avenged for his treacherous murder. Surely they knew, as most Dagobert's Revenge readers know, that the Merovingian bloodline didn't die out, surviving through his son Sigisbert, and continues to jockey for the throne of France to this very day in various royal bloodlines throughout Europe. Surely they knew that this kingdom would rise again, and that the Lost King would return someday. The seeds of their return have already been planted. France is united into the political mass that Dagobert had envisioned it be when he united Austrasia. And the "Holy Roman Empire," which the Merovingian Kings were clearly attempting to form with the help of the Vatican, has now become a reality, in the form of the European Union. During WWII and immediately after, the Priory of Sion, that secret order dedicated to the Merovingian agenda, openly campaigned for a United States of Europe. They even proposed a flag, consisting of stars in a circle, that is identical to the flag used by the European Union today. (This flag was carried by a divine white horse, a symbol of Poseidon and world monarchy.) Furthermore, the World Empire of the Atlantean Kings who spawned the Merovingians is closer now than it has been since the gods left the earth during the Deluge. The United Nations, a feeble example, will surely give way at some point to a united world government strong enough and glorious enough to be called an Empire. The Fallen Kingdom of the Gods is clearly returning, and the new Golden Age is upon us. And if this author's hunch is correct, this is, indeed, a glorious time to be alive.

Tracy Twyman is the Editor and Boyd Rice is the main staff writer of Dagobert's Revenge Magazine. They are currently writing a book together on the mysteries of the Holy Grail. They have traced the Grail legend, as well as the royal bloodline of Christ with which it is associated, back to the ancient kings of Atlantis, and a race of "gods" who created human civilization as we know it, perhaps even modern man himself.


E como penso que isto é apenas a ponta do iceberg, aqui fica mais para os interessados:


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quarta-feira, julho 27, 2005


Acordada, desperta e lúcida!

Por vezes perco a sanidade, por momentos, quando percebo que não posso responder a todas as mensagens que me mandam por telemóvel. Há que aproveitar a internet! Isto não está para gastos e até a luz ao fundo do túnel foi apagada para reduzir despesas!
Às vezes também desligo o telemóvel. Menos tentação.

Estas coisas do dinheiro são assim: uma pessoa aprende sempre a viver com menos.


segunda-feira, julho 25, 2005


Algo que me tem faltado.

Falta-vos coragem? Já deram por falta dela?

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Diferença de desenvolvimento entre Portugal e Espanha

De há uns tempos para cá, estou mais interessada na opinião dos estrangeiros sobre o desgoverno de Portugal do que na dos nossos analistas. Não porque os nossos não sejam bons, porque o são. Mas já lhes conheço as teorias. E seja como for, a conversa deles fica entre as quatro paredes da família. É o que sai "para a rua" que importa agora.
De modo que agradeço links para opiniões estrangeiras.

Este veio do Palavrar, e também merece eco. Até fiz questão de sublinhar as partes importantes, para os mais apressados.

Lessons of Spain and Portugal (by Renwick McLean)

As the European Union strives to integrate new members from Eastern and Central Europe, it faces some of the same concerns raised 20 years ago with the admission of two less developed states from the West: Spain and Portugal.
Letting in two poor countries that had recently shed repressive governments would stifle the Union's economic growth, drain jobs from more developed members and send a wave of immigrants across the Pyrenees, critics said.
Those fears turned out to be exaggerated, in part because they underestimated the transforming effects of EU money. Richer members, principally Germany, provided strong financial support each year to help Spain and Portugal develop and catch up with the rest of the bloc.
Now, as the EU debates diverting much of that aid to the poorer members admitted last year, the experiences of Spain and Portugal offer useful lessons on how to spend the money - and how not to. There is widespread agreement among scholars in both countries that Spain has generally invested the funds more productively than Portugal.
"You can look at it from a number of angles, and you can see that the funds have stimulated the Spanish economy in effective ways," said Paul Isbell, an economics analyst at the Elcano Royal Institute of International and Strategic Studies, a nonpartisan research organization in Madrid. "If you look at Portugal, you don't see the same beneficial effects."
In Spain, the benefits of the funds are evident in the modern infrastructure, improvements in worker productivity, increases in per capita income and an expanding economy.
The funds have also helped Spain soften the effects of some unpalatable structural changes, like liberalizing the labor market and privatizing state-owned industries.
Portugal, by contrast, has mainly used the funds to expand its economy - but without modernizing it to address most protracted problems, including a growing budget deficit, a bloated public sector, rampant tax evasion and inadequate educational system, scholars say.
Instead, political pressure from an influential web of small-town politicians seems to have diverted the money to strengthening infrastructure in rural areas rather than making investments in cities that could have created freer flows of goods and people.
As the former Communist countries vie for subsidies like those that Spain, Portugal and other earlier EU entrants enjoyed, there is little evidence that they are contending with similar pressures from local leaders. But Portugal holds a cautionary tale for countries like Poland, where there are signs that disputes over how to spend the money have cropped up in regional governments, delaying the spending of some structural funds.
"Portuguese economists agree that the country has used the resources as a way to postpone the hard decisions," said Sebastián Royo, a professor of government at Suffolk University in Boston who has written extensively on the integration of Portugal and Spain into the EU.
Now, Portugal's budget deficit is estimated at 6 percent to 7 percent of gross domestic product, government wages account for about 15 percent of GDP, and the country's level of educational attainment is among the lowest in Europe. Since joining the euro zone, which comprises 12 members, Portugal has been reprimanded twice by the European Commission for excessive deficits, while Spain has been a model member.
Portugal's prime minister, José Sócrates, who was elected in February, appears to be committed to enacting the reforms that economists say should have been pursued years ago. But with the Portuguese economy in a slump, the job will be much harder for Sócrates than it would have been for his predecessors.
What is more, the way Portugal has used EU funds appears to have worsened some of its problems. It accelerated government hiring during boom times instead of freezing it, for example.
“As the economy grew very fast, especially in the late 1990s, the public sector became a form of patronage," Royo said.
Today, about one of every seven workers in Portugal is a government employee who, under the Constitution, cannot be fired.
Portugal has made great strides since joining the EU in 1986. Before the EU expansion last year, to 25 from 15, Portugal's per capita income had risen to 75 percent of the EU average, from 55 percent.
Over the same period, Spain's per capita income has increased to almost 90 percent of the EU average, from about 70 percent. The Spanish economy, meanwhile, is speeding into its 12th consecutive year of growth, while Portugal is mired in debt and struggling to pull out of a recession.
Although management of EU funds is only one factor in these differing results, many experts seem to agree that it is a significant one.
While other countries offer clear examples of proper and improper management of EU funds, the similar geographies and histories of Portugal and Spain make it easier to isolate the effects of their recent actions.
Both countries joined the EU in 1986, a decade or so after emerging from dictatorships. Although the two had taken important steps toward modernizing their economies before joining, their economies were still rigid and highly reliant on agriculture at the time.
Both countries also invested the majority of their EU development funds in the same area: infrastructure. The Portuguese have directed about 90 percent of their funds to building and modernizing highways, airports, railroads and seaports, while the Spaniards have spent about 70 percent on such projects. Yet the results have been vastly different.
"The infrastructure in Spain is nearly first-class," said Isbell, the economist at the Elcano Institute.
Spain's roads and railroads are not only modern but also well laid out, helping to knit the country together so that poorer regions, like Andalusia, in the south, can connect with more developed ones, like the Madrid area.
That development has enticed more companies to set up operations in the poorer regions, where the cost of doing business is often lower, and has made it easier for companies already established there to reduce costs, attract investors and expand beyond local markets.
In Portugal, there is no comparable highway network linking its poorer regions with wealthier ones, increasing the chances that economic growth will continue to be uneven. Portugal has also failed to connect its highway systems to those in Spain, leaving it isolated from the main currents of European commerce.
"In Europe, lots of goods are moved around by truck," Royo said. "If you look at a map of Spain, the roads all go north. Portugal has not had the infrastructure linking it with Europe."
Portuguese infrastructure is not only poorly planned but in surprisingly poor condition, given the amount of money spent on it, scholars say.
"In Spain, you can see the new highways, the airports, the nice roads," said Royo, the professor. "In Portugal, the infrastructure is not in good shape at all. You look around, and you say, 'Where is all this money going?"'

One possibility is that much of the money is finding its way into the pockets of government or industry officials, Royo contends. "Corruption has to be a part of it," he said. "If you are spending all that money and the infrastructure is still poor, how else can you explain it?"
Portuguese officials deny any corruption, but they concede that the funds could have been better spent.
"Portugal's administration of the funds perhaps has not been the most effective, but it has not been a corrupt one," said Crisóstomo Teixeira, a senior policy adviser at the Ministry of Public Works, Transportation and Communications. "Portugal has made investments in small roads to improve mobility of people in small towns. If you do that, you don't have much money left for big, modern highway systems. The mayors of small towns here have pressed hard for roads in their areas. That is politics, not corruption."
As the 10 states admitted to the EU last year from Central and Eastern Europe start down the path toward further integration, they are not expected to receive nearly as much aid as Portugal and Spain have. From 2004 to 2006, the new members have together been allotted a little more than 20 billion, or $24 billion, about the same as Portugal alone was apportioned for 2000 to 2006. Spain's share for this period was more than 55 billion.
In the next budget, for 2007 to 2013, funds for the new members are expected to increase, while Spain and Portugal's shares will dwindle. But as Spain and Portugal have made clear, the degree to which new members successfully develop their economies and integrate them into Europe depends more on the individual states than on Brussels.
"It's not so much how much money you get," Royo said. "It's how you spend it."

In: International Herald Tribune (www.iht.com)

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sexta-feira, julho 22, 2005

O fundo

Recebi este comunicado por email:

Comunicado do Gabinete do Primeiro Ministro

Faz o governo saber que, até nova ordem, e tendo em consideração a actual situação das contas públicas e como medida de contenção de despesas, a luz ao fundo do túnel será desligada.

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O ministro ou another one bites the dust

Agora é que isto vai tudo bardamerda. É o Titanic! Partiu-se e vai ao fundo! Agarrem-se a uma tábua ou ficam agarrados ao pau.

Numa segunda nota, hoje consegui adormecer 10 minutos antes das 5 da manhã. Estou de parabéns. É uma vitória. A continuar assim, lá para o Natal estou a adormecer às 4 da manhã e a dormir mais uma horinha por dia.
Que bom!
Sou tão feliz!

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

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domingo, julho 17, 2005


Este veio do Porco, e é tão bom que merece eco.

Lejos de Europa. Mario de Queiroz

LISBOA, 21 sep (IPS) - Indicadores económicos y sociales periódicamente divulgados por la Unión Europea (UE) colocan a Portugal en niveles de pobreza e injusticia social inadmisibles para un país que integra desde 1986 el ”club de los ricos” del continente.

Pero el golpe de gracia lo dio la evaluación de la Organización para la Cooperación y el Desarrollo Económicos (OCDE): en los próximos años Portugal se distanciará aún más de los países avanzados.

La productividad más baja de la UE, la escasa innovación y vitalidad del sector empresarial, educación y formación profesional deficientes, mal uso de fondos públicos, con gastos excesivos y resultados magros son los datos señalados por el informe anual sobre Portugal de la OCDE, que reúne a 30 países industriales.

A diferencia de España, Grecia e Irlanda (que hicieron también parte del ”grupo de los pobres” de la UE), Portugal no supo aprovechar para su desarrollo los cuantiosos fondos comunitarios que fluyeron sin cesar desde Bruselas durante casi dos décadas, coinciden analistas políticos y económicos.

En 1986, Madrid y Lisboa ingresaron a la entonces Comunidad Económica Europea con índices similares de desarrollo relativo, y sólo una década atrás, Portugal ocupaba un lugar superior al de Grecia e Irlanda en el ranking de la UE. Pero en 2001, fue cómodamente superado por esos dos países, mientras España ya se ubica a poca distancia del promedio del bloque.

”La convergencia de la economía portuguesa con las más avanzadas de la OCE pareció detenerse en los últimos años, dejando una brecha significativa en los ingresos por persona”, afirma la organización.

En el sector privado, ”los bienes de capital no siempre se utilizan o se ubican con eficacia y las nuevas tecnologías no son rápidamente adoptadas”, afirma la OCDE.

”La fuerza laboral portuguesa cuenta con menos educación formal que los trabajadores de otros países de la UE, inclusive los de los nuevos miembros de Europa central y oriental”, señala el documento.

Todos los análisis sobre las cifras invertidas coinciden en que el problema central no está en los montos, sino en los métodos para distribuirlos.

Portugal gasta más que la gran mayoría de los países de la UE en remuneración de empleados públicos respecto de su producto interno bruto, pero no logra mejorar significativamente la calidad y eficiencia de los servicios.

Con más profesores por cantidad de alumnos que la mayor parte de los miembros de la OCDE, tampoco consigue dar una educación y formación profesional competitivas con el resto de los países industrializados.

En los últimos 18 años, Portugal fue el país que recibió más beneficios por habitante en asistencia comunitaria. Sin embargo, tras nueve años de acercarse a los niveles de la UE, en 1995 comenzó a caer y las perspectivas hoy indican mayor distancia.

¿Dónde fueron a parar los fondos comunitarios?, es la pregunta insistente en debates televisados y en columnas de opinión de los principales periódicos del país. La respuesta más frecuente es que el dinero engordó la billetera de quienes ya tenían más.

Los números indican que Portugal es el país de la UE con mayor desigualdad social y con los salarios mínimos y medios más bajos del bloque, al menos hasta el 1 de mayo, cuando éste se amplió de 15 a 25 naciones.

También es el país del bloque en el que los administradores de empresas públicas tienen los sueldos más altos.

El argumento más frecuente de los ejecutivos indica que ”el mercado decide los salarios”. Consultado por IPS, el ex ministro de Obras Públicas (1995-2002) y actual diputado socialista João Cravinho desmintió esta teoría. ”Son los propios administradores quienes fijan sus salarios, cargando las culpas al mercado”, dijo.

En las empresas privadas con participación estatal o en las estatales con accionistas minoritarios privados, ”los ejecutivos fijan sus sueldos astronómicos (algunos llegan a los 90.000 dólares mensuales, incluyendo bonos y regalías) con la complicidad de los accionistas de referencia”, explicó Cravinho.

Estos mismos grandes accionistas, ”son a la vez altos ejecutivos, y todo este sistema, en el fondo, es en desmedro del pequeño accionista, que ve como una gruesa tajada de los lucros va a parar a cuentas bancarias de los directivos”, lamentó el ex ministro.

La crisis económica que estancó el crecimiento portugués en los últimos dos años ”está siendo pagada por las clases menos favorecidas”, dijo.

Esta situación de desigualdad aflora cada día con los ejemplos más variados. El último es el de la crisis del sector automotriz.

Los comerciantes se quejan de una caída de casi 20 por ciento en las ventas de automóviles de baja cilindrada, con precios de entre 15.000 y 20.000 dólares.

Pero los representantes de marcas de lujo como Ferrari, Porsche, Lamborghini, Maserati y Lotus (vehículos que valen más de 200.000 dólares), lamentan no dar abasto a todos los pedidos, ante un aumento de 36 por ciento en la demanda.

Estudios sobre la tradicional industria textil lusa, que fue una de las más modernas y de más calidad del mundo, demuestran su estancamiento, pues sus empresarios no realizaron los necesarios ajustes para actualizarla. Pero la zona norte donde se concentra el sector textil, tiene más autos Ferrari por metro cuadrado que Italia.

Un ejecutivo español de la informática, Javier Felipe, dijo a IPS que según su experiencia con empresarios portugueses, éstos ”están más interesados en la imagen que proyectan que en el resultado de su trabajo”.

Para muchos ”es más importante el automóvil que conducen, el tipo de tarjeta de crédito que pueden lucir al pagar una cuenta o el modelo del teléfono celular, que la eficiencia de su gestión”, dijo Felipe, aclarando que hay excepciones.

”Todo esto va modelando una mentalidad que, a fin de cuentas, afecta al desarrollo de un país”, opinó.

La evasión fiscal impune es otro aspecto que ha castrado inversiones del sector público con potenciales efectos positivos en la superación de la crisis económica y el desempleo, que este año llegó a 7,3 por ciento de la población económicamente activa.

Los únicos contribuyentes a cabalidad de las arcas del Estado son los trabajadores contratados, que descuentan en la fuente laboral. En los últimos dos años, el gobierno decidió cargar la mano fiscal sobre esas cabezas, manteniendo situaciones ”obscenas” y ”escandalosas”, según el economista y comentarista de televisión Antonio Pérez Metello.

”En lugar de anunciar progresos en la recuperación de los impuestos de aquellos que continúan riéndose en la cara del fisco, el gobierno (conservador) decide sacar una tajada aun mayor de esos que ya pagan lo que es debido, y deja incólume la nebulosa de los fugitivos fiscales, sin coherencia ideológica, sin visión de futuro”, criticó Metello.

La prueba está explicada en una columna de opinión de José Vitor Malheiros, aparecida este martes en el diario Público de Lisboa, que fustiga la falta de honestidad en la declaración de impuestos de los llamados profesionales liberales.

Según esos documentos entregados al fisco, médicos y dentistas declararon ingresos anuales promedio de 17.680 euros (21.750 dólares), los abogados de 10.864 (13.365 dólares), los arquitectos de 9.277 (11.410 dólares) y los ingenieros de 8.382 (10.310 dólares).

Estos números indican que por cada seis euros que pagan al fisco, ”le roban nueve a la comunidad”, pues estos profesionales no dependientes deberían contribuir con 15 por ciento del total del impuesto al ingreso por trabajo singular y sólo tributan seis por ciento, dijo Malheiros.

Con la devolución de impuestos al cerrar un ejercicio fiscal, éstos ”roban más de lo que pagan, como si un carnicero nos vendiese 400 gramos de bife y nos hiciese pagar un kilogramo, y existen 180.000 de estos profesionales liberales que, en promedio, nos roban 600 gramos por kilo”, comentó con sarcasmo.

Si un país ”permite que un profesional liberal con dos casas y dos automóviles de lujo declare ingresos de 600 euros (738 dólares) por mes, año tras año, sin ser cuestionado en lo más mínimo por el fisco, y encima recibe un subsidio del Estado para ayudar a pagar el colegio privado de sus hijos, significa que el sistema no tiene ninguna moralidad”, sentenció. (FIN/2004)

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Rearmonização da aura através da visualização

Este é um exercício de hipnoterapia que me tem dado muito jeito ao longo da vida e agora voltei a praticá-lo desde que os médicos me mandaram à merda.
Vou escrevê-lo aqui simplesmente porque nunca encontro o raio do livro e o raio da página e penso que aqui vai ser mais fácil de o reler quando for preciso.
Espero que também vos ajude.

Deite-de em decúbito dorsal sobre uma superfície um tanto dura (alcatifa ou divã), em ambiente crepuscular (vela). Execute algumas respirações profundas e lentas. Durante a inspiração, imagine-se a absorver ar muito puro (como se estivesse, por exemplo, na montanha ou numa floresta);

Nesta altura, antes de passar à próxima fase, faço também o exercício de esvaziar a mente de todo o pensamento: "Não penso em nada", durante o maior tempo possível.

durante a expiração, pense que elimina todas as impurezas.
Em seguida, faça a si mesmo algumas sugestões mentais para relaxamento do corpo, por exemplo: "Sinto-me cada vez mais calmo, tenho o corpo descontraído, sinto-me bem, à vontade, relaxado, gosto desta tranquilidade, o meu corpo está calmo, o meu espírito está calmo."

Eu costumo acrescentar: "Estou segura. Nada me pode fazer mal ou atingir. Estou segura. Estou segura." (Também prefiro imaginar-me numa praia deserta ao som do mar e das gaivotas.)

Usufrua desse bem estar durante todo o tempo que lhe apetecer.
Depois, visualize de cor branca o ar que respira, de tão puro este lhe parece, e que, pouco a pouco, este ar lhe vai impregnando o corpo. Este torna-se também progressivamente branco, todo branco. Submerge-o um oceano de brancura. Tudo em redor é branco. O ar da sala tornou-se branco, é branco todo o seu corpo. Respira ar puro e branco, o seu corpo e o ar envolvente são brancos e sente-se extraordinariamente bem, regenerado por completo e sereno.
Pode agora fazer a si próprio novas sugestões: "Durante os próximos dias, guardarei dentro do corpo e do espírito esta tranquilidade. Prolongarei o efeito benfazejo desta calma, conservarei a serenidade e o conforto experimentado".

A princípio o mais difícil é relaxar fisicamente. Mas esvaziar a mente de todo o pensamento é de facto o mais difícil e pode demorar dias a atingir.
Os resultados podem ser observados após algumas sessões, dependendo do nível de relaxamento.


Os comentários...

... estão de volta.

I'm bored to death here. Não arranjo maneira melhor de o dizer do que em inglês.
As férias sempre foram aquela altura da minha vida em que me sentia mais sozinha. Toda a gente ia de férias e eu ficava. Sempre fiquei.
Agora já não é assim. Com a crise, as pessoas já não vão de férias. Mas eu fiquei à mesma. Que se podia fazer? Eu tinha de arranjar uma maneira de sobreviver sem as pessoas! Depois, quando elas voltaram, eu já não precisava delas. Óbvio. Claro como água.

Não sei se vou ler os comentários. Talvez leia, talvez não. Lamento dizê-lo mas não é assim tão importante o que as pessoas têm para me dizer.
Ultimamente também não tenho lido os vossos blogs (mas isso é porque ando sem paciência).

Já li "A Irmandade do Anel". Tornei-me uma fã de Tolkien. E agora estou a ler os livros apócrifos da Bíblia. Leitura interessante. E ando mais a ler livros. A situação do país está demasiado deprimente para falar dela ou ouvir falar dela.

A falta de compreensão dos outros também me aflige neste momento em particular. Sinto-me fraca e cansada. Quando os motivos para uma pessoa se levantar da cama se resumem a ter dinheiro para sobreviver, não há verdadeira razão para viver.

Mas onde é que já se viu um gótico feliz? Isso não existe. Isso seria a negação do gótico dentro do gótico.

Não espero que compreendam. Vou tentar ler os vossos comentários como se de um outro blog se tratasse. Podia pedir-vos por todos os santinhos e pelas alminhas do purgatório que pela vossa saúdinha não me falassem de coisas que não sabem, mas sei que não ia adiantar. As pessoas falam do que não sabem, ponto final. E eu não tenho paciência nem tempo nem vontade para dizer porque é que não sabem.
Mas não esperem nada de mim. Nunca. E este é o melhor conselho que vos posso dar.

Faço votos para que, como dizia o Klatuu, continuem a utilizar os meus comentários como plataforma para outras coisas. Eles são para vocês. O blog é para mim. Já uma vez o disse. Os comentários são o passeio da rua em frente à minha porta. Mas o blog é meu, meu, e só meu. Podia mesmo dizer que o blog sou eu, de tal forma me expus nestas páginas desde há mais de um ano.

Uma vez deram-me um puzzle. Na contracapa estava a fotografia de um chimpazé. O chimpazé seria o resultado do puzzle. Eu achei aquilo tão feio que não me dei ao trabalho de montar o puzzle e nunca mais ninguém me deu nenhum.
Mas eu adoro puzzles. Principalmente aqueles que não têm a fotografia do resultado.
Eu sou um puzzle desses, sem fotografia. E faltam peças. Essas estão fechadas na minha mão para as dar, uma por uma, às pessoas que começam a montar o puzzle e o acharem interessante.
Mas como não há fotografia prévia, muitos olham para duas ou três peças e pensam que sabem o que o puzzle vai dar, e enganam-se. Outros tentam começar a montá-lo mas percebem que é demasiado complicado e desistem. Outros gostariam de alterar o resultado final do puzzle e mudar o que eu sou, e esses falham. Outros julgam que têm o puzzle todo montado e surpreendem-se quando vêem uma das peças que não se revelam todos os dias. Conta-se pelos dedos de uma mão o número de pessoas que conseguiu montar o puzzle. Por motivos vários, como a idade, o estrato social, as vivências ou a falta delas, para a maioria das pessoas eu não sou um puzzle mas um enigma indecifrável. E no entanto eu digo-vos que não, que eu não sou um enigma indecifrável. Um puzzle complicado, isso sim.

E sinto-me isolada. Muito isolada. O que é diferente de sozinha. Isolada e sem ninguém que me compreenda. E sinto que me estou a impôr quando peço a alguém que me escute e compreenda. Não quero fazer isso. Quero ouvir música e dançar. Sim, é isso que eu quero. Os meus pensamentos bastam-me como sempre bastaram.

Estou cansada. Muito cansada. A vida não tem sido fácil, mas mesmo nada fácil. Nem justa. Nem agradável. Nos últimos tempos, tem sido penosa.
Eu culpo as minhas anteriores reencarnações.

Eh bien. C'est tout.

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quarta-feira, julho 13, 2005

Bem vindos ao mundo das mentiras

Não tenho problemas.

Life is peachy.

Tudo está bem.

Até estou a sorrir.

Os comentários até são capazes de voltar. Ou não. Afinal, estamos no mundo das mentiras.

Se há um tipo de pessoas que eu odeio visceralmente são os mentirosos. Por isso mesmo, decidi começar a mentir indiscriminadamente. Ou não. No mundo das mentiras, nunca se sabe.
Como distinguir? Bem, é uma questão de neurónios. Cabe aos comentários ser a plataforma onde se distingue quem os tem de quem os não tem.
Por isso, os comentários são capazes de voltar. Ou não.
Afinal, pode ser tudo mentira.

Neste país de mentirosos, devíamos ser todos peritos em detectar mentiras à distância. Será? Não será?
Será que vamos saber?
Não sei. Pode ser tudo mentira.

Oh, como é bela a vida!
Mentirosos do mundo, uni-vos!

Current mood: diabólico


domingo, julho 10, 2005

Uma conversa com a Morte

Não sei se vos disse que era uma das minhas canções preferidas?

It's getting dark
too soon
a threatening silence
Surrounding me
a wind
comes up from the islands

Distance fades to stormy grey
Washed out from the deep of the ocean
Here I will stand to face your wrath
While all the others are praying

Calm down my heart
don't beat so fast
Don't be afraid
just once in a lifetime
Calm down my heart
don't beat so fast
Don't be afraid
just once in a lifetime

No rain can wash away my tears
No wind can soothe my pain
You made me doubt, you made me fear
But now I'm not the same

You took my wife, my unborn son
Torn into the deep of the ocean
I don't pretend that I love you
'Cause there is nothing left to lose

And when silence comes back to me
I find myself feeling lonely
Standing here on the shores of destiny
I find myself feeling lonely

I had a life to give
many dreams to live
Don't you know that you're losing so much
this time
Beyond the waves
I will be free
While all the others are praying

Calm down my heart
don't beat so fast
Don't be afraid
just once in a lifetime
Calm down my heart
don't beat so fast
Don't be afraid
just once in a lifetime

No rain can wash away my tears
No wind can soothe my pain
You made me doubt, you made me fear
But now I'm not the same

You took my wife, my unborn son
Torn into the deep of the ocean
I don't pretend that I love you
'Cause there is nothing left to lose

The love in you,
it does not burn,
There is no lesson you can learn
And there are sounds
you cannot hear,
And there are feelings
you can't feel
Calm down my heart
don't beat so fast
Don't be afraid
just once in a lifetime
I don't pretend that I love you

And this time I'm not scared of you


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quarta-feira, julho 06, 2005

terça-feira, julho 05, 2005

Até à próxima

Dum Dum
1995 - 2005

(Nota: este não é aquele gatinho que estava fadado para morrer há mais de um ano. O destino é irónico.)
O Dum Dum era um bom amigo. Gostava de cães, gatos e pessoas.
Estou mais pobre. Perdi um amigo.
Morreu como um passarinho, esta madrugada, depois de uma semana de doença súbita. Eu estive sempre com ele até ao fim.

Não quero dizer adeus. Até à próxima, meu amigo!

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domingo, julho 03, 2005

Ele há coisas da breca!

Na sexta feira, ao chegar ao trabalho, encontrei à frente da porta uma carta de baralho normal. Só uma. O oito de espadas.


feeling restricted
being fenced in by obstacles
staying in a limited situation
feeling trapped by circumstances
experiencing few options
being blind to freedom
feeling persecuted

feeling confused
being unsure which way to turn
feeling at a loss
lacking direction
feeling overwhelmed
floundering around
needing guidance and clarity
not understanding what is happening

feeling powerless
waiting for outside rescue
doubting anything you do will help
avoiding responsibility
looking for a white knight
feeling victimized
accepting inaction

Uma mensagem do destino?

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